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19 October 2007 @ 08:50 am
Notice to my dad: STFU! I am in a bad mood this morning and you bring up something that is none of your fucking concern. And you bring it up at work, which in turn makes me cry, and then you literally yell at me for crying and not wanting to talk about it. Of course that's just going make it worse, you douchebag.

I wish I had somewhere to go after work, because I really don't want to go home. I could always go to a cafe or something, but I don't really want to be out in public either. If I had any money I'd get a cheap motel room for the night.

I promise a real entry (tv talk and less emo-ness) after I've calmed down a bit. I think I've almost stopped crying, but knowing me, it could start again. He had just better not talk to me until I get myself under control, 'cause that'll make it worse.

I hate being such a cry baby!
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
polaris_86: owen meany; simon birch; john irvingpolaris_86 on October 19th, 2007 05:42 pm (UTC)
You can whine as much as you want in your journal! I'm sure you're whole f-list understands that everyone sometimes has to be in such a mood. *hugs*
I hope you'll feel better soon!
Allee: lilacslady_lyca on October 19th, 2007 06:27 pm (UTC)
I do feel a little better. I was left alone for awhile, so I was able to cry uninterrupted. Once I start crying it's really hard to stop. And trying to stop just seems to make me cry even harder. *hugs back* <3
polaris_86: owen meany; simon birch; john irvingpolaris_86 on October 19th, 2007 08:37 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean... I'm glad that you feel a bit better now! :)
downloadableindifference: lonelydownloadable08 on October 19th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
Man, do I know how you feel. I'm feeling like crap (PMS does that to me, in addition to making me overly emotional), and our power went out for several hours during the windstorm yesterday. My mom kept trying to get me to pack and go with her to a hotel for the night, but that would have meant driving myself so I could have my car to go to school today. She just did not understand that I felt too sick to drive safely. And of course, the tears started, which made me feel even worse, and it was all downhill from there.

I'm just glad my stepdad was away on business--he does the "yelling at you for crying" thing, too. My personal favorite was the time when I was in the ER with a migraine that felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to my brain, and he still yelled at me and stormed out of the room when I started crying because it hurt so bad. He just doesn't get that showing emotion is not a bad thing.
Allee: lilacslady_lyca on October 19th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean about PMS. It does the same thing to me, and I am also going through it right now.

I'm sorry you lost power and had a tiff with your mom. I hate when no matter how you say something, you just don't understand each other, that happens with my mom and I all the time.

And yeah, my dad hates showing emotion (he's only really tried to console me once), and my mom only thinks it's okay for her to do so but no one else. If I show emotion then there's something wrong with me and she thinks I should seek therapy. I mean, I probably should, but not because I express what I'm feeling.

I hope you feel better soon. PMS blows! *hugs*
downloadableindifference: sga not sulkingdownloadable08 on October 19th, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks! *hugs back*

My biggest frustration with them is that they view emotion as childish. I've always been on the emotional side, so whenever I cry, it makes them treat me like I'm five years old. They don't seem to understand that rational, stable adults can still cry if something is upsetting them. It's so much healthier to let it out--if I try to bottle things up inside, it just makes me dwell on them more, which keeps me from dealing with things like I should.
Jennifer J.gwionfawyr on October 19th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
*hands over the cure-all, be-all. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with the dark chocolate* Cry all that you want to hon, if you don't cry, then your tear ducts get stopped up, and nobody wants that, now do they?
Allee: kiefervamplady_lyca on October 19th, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC)
Mmmm. Chocolate works for everything. Thank you. :)

And you're right. And I did. I was left alone for a few hours, so I let it all out and sang along (very loudly) to all the angry and sad music on my computer.
Obsidian Raven McBovriltelltale on October 20th, 2007 08:08 am (UTC)
dads can be such jerks sometimes.
Im sorry hon, crying isn't fun @ work!
Allee: jedi!nedlady_lyca on October 20th, 2007 04:46 pm (UTC)
I think we got it all settled, so hopefully no more jerkiness on his part.

*hugs back* :)